OK, so checking out my page views today and so far, since I've been running this periodic blog, i have had a grand total of FUCK ALL visitors (apart from various government snooping agencies...natch!)
So this christmas message will be going out to them mostly, and you if you are becoming my first visitor.
This Christmas is the first Christmas that I will be spending alone. Ive been feeling pretty down about it obviously and i sit for hours ruing the mistakes I've made and the bad decisions I've taken that have landed me here. You see we are all gifted with a certain amount of free-will, there are somethings that are beyond our control; other people, events around us, inanimate objects, you know the stuff we interact with on a daily basis. We have no control over those things, they taught me that in my AA meetings when i was getting on the wagon, about twenty some years ago. That was a valuable lesson to learn. The other lesson I've learned over the last few years is that I am a hopeless judge of people, and for the majority of my fifty one years i have been extremely naive in that regard. I always saw what i thought was the good in people, but then through a series of unfortunate events, that whole tower that id built came tumbling down. I now know I can only trust three people in my life, two of those are my parents, and the other is someone who i love and care about very much. I prefer in the large, animals to people, some of the nicest people i have met have been dogs, and i stand by that 110%.
Anyway, this christmas I feel a little hard done by, but its all of my own doing as I've said so tough titties to me! Yet, as I've been wandering the streets looking for ways to show my love to those three people this christmas I've seen a particular group of people who have made me feel a great deal more humble and a great deal more grateful for what i have. This christmas, as it is every christmas there will be thousands of people without a roof over their head, without a huge great steaming turkey and trimmings, without a hot toddy, without warmth, without love, without companionship, without chestnuts roasting on open fires, many of them without hope.
So, when you are out doing those last minute emergency shopping runs to get those essentials that you've forgotten, like Brandy butter, or sausages for your pigs in blankets, think of these people who would do anything for just a tiny portion of what you will be consuming for christmas, anything for just a few hours of family and friends gathered around a table laughing or even arguing, that essential warmth of human kindness doesn't always flow in the right direction at christmas. So if you get the chance to drop a few coins in a cup or indeed bring them a steaming cup of hot chocolate from the nearest coffee shop, do it! I guarantee it will make you feel better, and it will do a great deal to let these people know that someone gives a shit about them at this time of year.
Merry Christmas to one and all!
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